The problem with kids these days...

Originally published 11 April 2010.

Following is the text of what I submitted for this week's Discussion assignment on the status of play.  Free play is required for children to be healthy developmentally in all areas, but many kids aren't given that option. When kids don't get the chance to decide on their own how they will play, they lose the ability to make specific kinds of decisions and navigate diplomacy, a skill called "executive function". This lack causes severe difficulties and behavior problems. This text is my reaction to the articles assigned on the topic. They were really quite fascinating; I'll link them at the end.

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Throughout our readings there has been a continuing theme that perhaps could use a different perspective. Each article has addressed a similar variety of potential issues that have lead to the situation in which we find ourselves today regarding play. However, these issues have been presented simply as causes, and not truly confronted head-on as the source of the issue. The problem here is not a debate over what is appropriate for our children. The problem really has nothing to do with the children at all... it's the adults.

Many children are no longer allowed to free play because of physical danger; either they have no safe outdoor place to play or the indoor environment is not safe to navigate unguided. In other words, parents are afraid of harm, and therefore assert control over where and how their children play.

Many children do not free play while at home because parents believe they must interact with their child but don't have time to do so, and so they turn on the TV or computer. In other words, parents are afraid of what other people will think if they say no to a request and schedule more time around their children. And so they assert control through where the children are and what they're doing so that they (the parent) does not need to be present.

Many children are overbooked through activities and events to the point of creating stress disorders. This happens because parents may be afraid of what other parents think, or are afraid that they are not good enough parents, instead of being secure in the knowledge that they are smart and intelligent people who can learn about children and be confident about what is right for their own child. In response to that fear, they micromanage every moment of their child's day.

The fact that play is being eliminated from classrooms across the country stems from an adult fear that the children will not meet up to the world's expectations; not only when they are adults, but also as children. Our world is so overly competitive in a way that children don't naturally understand, and so adults push them in a reflection of their own fear of failure. This fear of failure, of the potential of not living up to the rest of the world, causes adults to control academic requirements and school responsibilities to assert the potential to win.

My opinion is that the best way to fix this problem is world-wide therapy sessions! Seriously though, the pattern of fear --> control is one that arises in many areas of life, in overprotective parenting, in disorders and crimes, in dysfunctional marriages, in struggling businesses, in political budgets. While a certain amount of fear is healthy and instinctive, I believe our technological age and city living has led to a loss of real areas in which we were not meant to control, but merely to observe and learn. Living as we do, we have more time for introspection and emotional connection to our fears, and less practice letting things be as nature intends. Humankind has been successfully navigating life for millions of years, but not until recently has living become relatively easy for most. We've become soft and squeamish as a society, and allowed our fears to overtake us.

In order to let our children play, to learn and develop naturally as children were created to do, adults (parents, teachers, and lawmakers included) must step back from their fear and release control. They must allow for the possibility that a child may get poked with the stick they swing, that they might get muddy or bitten by mosquitoes in the creek, or that they might experience the pain of a friend calling them names. As most of our resources have pointed out, living through and learning from experiences like these lead us to understand how to navigate life and to be successful in our future. Depriving our children of these opportunities in the name of avoiding potential harm will instead create a whole new range of developmental problems, and a society in which adults no longer understand how to interact appropriately with one another.

List copied from our "Resources" tab for Modules 1 & 2 from Walden University:

(Sorry for the wonky formatting)

Required Resources

• Web Article: The Serious Need for Play
  http://blog.edu-cyberpg.com/2009/03/04/The+Serious+Need+For+Play.aspx

• Podcast: Old-Fashioned Play Builds Serious Skills
  http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19212514
  
• Web Article: Experts Say Play Time Can Relieve Stress in Bad Times
  http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-03-23-play-stress_N.htm
  
• Web Article: Pressurized Children, Pressurized Adults: Let’s Find Time for Play
  http://www.education.com/reference/article/pressurized-children-adult-time-for-play/

Supplemental Resources

Web Article: Taking Play Seriouslyhttp://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/17/magazine/17play.html?_r=2

Web Article: Creative Play Makes for Kids in Control
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=76838288

Video: Stuart Brown: Why Play is Vital--No Matter Your Agehttp://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/stuart_brown_says_play_is_more_than_fun_it_s_vital.html

Web Article: Recess and the Importance of Playhttp://w4.nkcsd.k12.mo.us/~rbeckett/RECESS%20AND%20THE%20IMPORTANCE%20OF%20PLAY.htm

Introduction 

Web Article: Can We Play?http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/greatergood/2008spring/Elkind344.html

Organized Activities Marginalizing Free Time 

Web Article: The Overbooked Childhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200301/the-overbooked-child

Technological Innovations 

Web Article: The Impact of Home Computer Use on Children’s Activities and Developmenthttp://www.futureofchildren.org/futureofchildren/publications/docs/10_02_05.pdf

Increased Focus on Academics

• Web Article: Another Look at What Young Children Should be Learninghttp://www.ericdigests.org/2000-1/look.html
• Web Article: Should Preschools Teach All Work and No Play?http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20056147 
• Web Article: No Outdoor Play Hurts Childrenhttp://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6986544.stm 
• Web Article: Alliance for Childhood Campaigns to Take Pressure off Children http://www.southerncrossreview.org/35/alliance.htm 
• Web Article: The Three R’s: A Fourth is Crucial, Too: Recesshttp://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/24/health/24well.html 
• Web Article: Recess and the Importance of Playhttp://w4.nkcsd.k12.mo.us/~rbeckett/RECESS%20AND%20THE%20IMPORTANCE%20OF%20PLAY.htm 
• Video: Immersionhttp://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/11/21/magazine/1194833565213/immersion.html

Social Responsibility in the Home

Originally published 24 February 2010 as the introduction to a Sociology group project focused on families. The project can be viewed here.

The idea of living a socially responsible life can be overwhelming for many of us. We think of politics and fund raising, of feeding hungry orphans or providing relief work in natural disaster areas. Those who are socially responsible care for their environment and the people around them. Someone who holds a door for a woman pushing a stroller or who throws their Pepsi can into a recycling bin instead of a trash can is making socially responsible choices. We each have an obligation to one another simply because we are created human; people need other people not only for commerce and production of things, but also for building a sense of self and purpose.

Of course, we all know that there are some people in our communities who don't feel that a lifestyle of social responsibility is important.  They focus their everyday lives on making it through the day, striving for personal successes.  These individuals often contribute to difficulties in our communities through selfish actions both large and small.  In preparation for this project we asked ourselves, "How can otherwise healthy adults think that these acts are acceptable?" We decided to look more closely at the life of a child, based on a modern day understanding of Child Development, and the vital importance of the influence of a parent on the adult their child will become.

In the book, How to Behave so Your Children Will Too, Sal Severe explains our premise:

Children learn good behavior. Children learn misbehavior. Behavior does not occur by magic. It is not inherited. A well-behaved child is not the result of luck. Be encouraged - if children learn behavior, then children can learn to change behavior... If you are in pursuit of well-behaved, well-adjusted children, you need to understand how your behavior is connected with your child's behavior (Severe, n.d.).

When a child is born into the world, the neurons in its brain begin to form and connect one to another, learning how to communicate and function within our world. Infants learn skills from observation and instinct before they know how to speak. In most families, the person the infant observes is the parent.  What a child learns before the age of five is what will be the most fundamental and physiological part of them; it will provide the foundation for everything they become (Martin, Fabes, 2009). Healthy and proper parenting in early years is vital for contributing to a content and healthy community, and for molding children into socially responsible adults.

Many parents today do have the ability to care properly for their children, and we applaud their success. This study focuses on the concerns of those who struggle, and the wider effects of that struggle in various areas of the community. Within this project you will find a wealth of information related to the topic, touching on many different perspectives. Please feel free to browse and enjoy learning more about the issue of social responsibility in the home.